When Grief Meets Love Too Soon

I met a gentleman in GriefShare, ten or fifteen years older than I. He was a handsome man with kind eyes, who spoke with excitement about traveling and taking cruises all over the world. He also spoke tenderly of his late wife, his high school sweetheart, whom he had been married to for 45 years. With quiet certainty, he told me he would never remarry.

His wife passed away on the very same day and year as my husband, Steve. We may have even been in the hospital at the same time. Both of us were only three months into widowhood, still stumbling through the fog of loss. Hearing him speak with such devotion made me wonder—if I had gone first, would Steve have said the same about me? That I was his soul mate, his forever love? It comforted me to think so.

Less than a year later, I saw this gentleman again at church. Only this time, he wasn’t alone. He was sitting with a woman, and the two of them appeared to be deeply in love. She lifted her left hand for all to see, showing off a sparkling engagement ring. The sight stopped me in my tracks. A sharp ache went through me, not because I wanted him for myself, but because in that moment, he no longer represented loyalty or steadfast love. Instead, it felt as though even the sacred bond of a lifetime could be so quickly replaced. My heart felt betrayed on Steve’s behalf.

It took me months before I could smile at him again. Eventually, I found the courage to say how I felt—not out of anger, but out of honesty. What I realized was this: my reaction was less about him and more about the mirror he held up to my own grief.

Recently, I heard that his marriage has ended. Life, family, and lifestyles pulled them apart. My heart sank with sadness because I understood how easy it is to want to fill the loneliness and try to

rebuild too quickly. But grief has its own timetable. Love after loss can be a beautiful thing—but it cannot be rushed. Healing must come first.

This story isn’t about judging another person’s path. It’s about recognizing how important it is to give grief the time and space it needs before stepping into new love.

Gentle Reflection for You

• Have you ever been surprised by the way someone else’s choices stirred up your own grief?

• What does “healing your heart” mean to you in this season of life?

• If new love were to come, how would you want it to look and feel?